who is KaLA?
a not-so-average kinda definately not next door kinda weird but yet normal kinda crazy yet ultimately grounded kinda girl
an educator in training, training to educate
just all of 23, and yet so fast 24.
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always Daddy's little girl
sometimes i feel, no matter how old i get, my father will never get tired of asking the same old questions.
where are u going?
what time u coming back?
why so late?
why do u need to go?
why every week got friends' bday?
why got so many friends?
what do u mean "go out for fun"?
cannot have fun at home ah?
what do u mean ure just going out? must have reason right?
why you keep going out?
don't forget you're a girl. stop acting like a guy.
its not safe. dun forget you're a girl.
ure a girl u know, dun come back so late.
what will people say, you're a girl.
why do u need to go to club? ure a girl.
what business u have to do so late? ure a girl.
but appa. sometimes i wish u'll realise, i am not just a little girl anymore. i have grown into what some poeple call a "woman"
and i need my own space. i need to breathe. i can't be reporting to you for every single thing. i cant be justifying my every social outing. i cant be writing a thesis as to WHY i need to hang out, for no apparent reason. i cant be going out at 8 and coming back at 10.
i know u love me and only say all these cuz u care for me and dun want to see me hurt. but i just wish u'll let me live my life.
its no more the 1960s. or 70s. or 80s. or 90s. girls are safe in singapore. that's why we live here. i wun get raped cuz i come back a bit later. i might, but i know how to take care of myself. i wun get drunk because there is alcohol around me. i know self-control.
i know u see horrible things when ure out driving taxi. and i know u pray everyday that im not involved in them. but appa, im not them. i know what im doing. i'm almost 24. that's the age amma got married to you. that's e age umaka gave birth to navina. i am getting OLDER. i need to do my own things.
i know ure trying and ure slowly letting go. ure not all that bad.
u let me have the car as and when i want.
u let me go out eveutally, after interrogating me.
u call me every half an hour to check on me.
u usually give in to me and let me brainwash u, even though u know im doing it.
u get me everything i want.
u cajole me when i lose my temper and come and appologize to me for making me upset.
u try so hard to be a modern dad, even though yr tradionalist values are so strong.
u let me have my tattoo just cause i pouted and frowned for a week.
u trust me to make mature decisions regarding my education and career.
u let me holiday wherever i want, with whoever i want, whenever i want.
u give me so much more freedom then u ever gave Umaka and that u ever will give Sangithah.
u let me manipulate your soft heart to give me so much leeway.
u always give in to me no matter what, resulting in Umaka and sangithah complaning and amma sighing
u always never fail to tell me "i love u ma" after u scold me.
u never fail to say "yes" even though amma has just said "no". just cause i said please and gave u those puppy dog eyes.
u never once regretted not having boys.
u always buy me HL milk just cause i once said i liked drinking milk at night.
u teach me yr "taxi-driver" short cuts that would amaze anyone.
u trust my decision about vik and let me be
u make stupid jokes and cracks that make me wonder if its from u i get my sense of humour from
u work so hard for us that ure body is acting up now, and it makes me ache.
that is why dad, im acting out here on my blog. instead of telling you to yr face.
i love you dad, but pls pls. loosen up. MUACKS.
lovelove, your little girl,
kala
27/01/2009