who is KaLA?
a not-so-average kinda definately not next door kinda weird but yet normal kinda crazy yet ultimately grounded kinda girl
an educator in training, training to educate
just all of 23, and yet so fast 24.
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the M word
alrite today i'm gonna blog about something that has been on my mind for ages..."MARRIAGE" -no not for me....-
recently, well for a few years alreadi actually, the word "marriage" has been scaring me quite a bit..
ALOT of couples i know; newly-weds, not-so-newly-weds and oldly(?)-weds have been scaring me quite a bit..
in total..they make marriage seem so......scary....and such a waste of love..
yes..waste of love..
what's e point in being in a marriage if its nothing but problems...yes i know, problems will always be a part of marriage, but what if the marriage becomes nothing but problems?
justify my case...
What it should be:
What it is:
(i'm sorry guys..teaching too much tuition these days...lol..)
aniweis why has marriage, which i STILL believe to be a sacred union of two hearts, being so easily compromised?
two people, in love, decide to share their lives together. get married of their own accord, find that they can't get along, decide to divorce/cheat/stray.
WHY WHY WHY!
if u fight, get over it!
if u dun get along, find a way to get along!
if your marriage is not working, find a way to get it work!
i mean, if you plan to bail at every problem, why freaking get married?
if little problems are too harsh for you to deal with, why did u agree to "love in health and sickness, ....".
if you take every arguement personally, then why did u say YES?
if you keep comapring yr sig. other to "better" individuals, why didn't your marry these individuals instead??
i am just getting so sick and tired of hearing stories of so-and-so fighting over stupid things and then threatening to divorce each other..
contrary to popular belief, divorce is not something light! i mean, you shared a part of you, your life with someone..and just because of a few fights and undissolvable pride, you decide u "don't friend" that person anymore?
i mean if its situations whereby you're getting abused, or if u find out your other half is a roaming bastard and if you did not choose to get wedded to that person, its fine..you did not have a choice..
but what if you have a choice? what if you have a choice to make things right? but you CHOOSE not to, cuz its too much work? then what? then every couple would just end up seperated.
and what if you have kids? have you ever wondered about their emotions, as you fight in front of them, as u scream at each other, as they see their parents turning into monsters, bad-mouthing each other?
i was just complaining to a friend Z the other day...that i have no privacy at home
*do not confuse freedom with privacy..i have ALMOST 100% freedom, just like 5% privacy*
i was going on and on that my room is more like a hotel for visiting relatives and even if i want to relax there, just lie down for a few mins, its impossible with the number of exponentially rising people in my house..
then she cheekily suggested "get married faster la..then got your own house..and can do what ever you want.."
i imediately RECOILED in horror..i mean, i love my vik to bits, but the notion of MARRIAGE is just so so so ...HORRORFUL!
we're so happy now..just being together..we rarely have sensible fights ( we fight about why we don't fight and if dark chocolate is better or milk chocolate.....MILK!!)..we are comfortable with each other..we understand each other..we are just wonderfully happy...
and im just so scared..cuz i saw so many loving couples...couples who make u so vomittishly-sickeningly nauseated with their lovey-doveyness, just morph into silent strangers because of the M word. the M word makes them take each other for granted, make them bring out their claws and basically become so...different..
why i have no idea!!!
.
ok fine i know why with the couples that i know personally, but its too personal and private to advertise here..
aniweis Z then went on to try to convince me about the pros of marriage.. *she herself is married*
and then i realised, not all married couples suck..so many of my aunts and uncles still make me so vomittishly-sickeningly nauseated with their lovey-doveyness. and these are people who have been married for 20 over years! and ppl like my dear friends yoges n vicky, gayathri and vicky *2 different vicky's ok!* have showed me marriage can be positive. it can bring out the 100% love they have for one another, and make people so much more tolerant towards each other, knowing of all their cute little queer habits and querks..
we just need to find some way to show the "divorce-phillics" that marriage needs work. and if you do your homework, benefits will reap.
benefits like having someone to laugh with over something that noone else finds funny
benefits like never coming home lonely
benefits like being able to build a family with love
benefits like knowing, someone is there for you..no matter what
so..marriage still has hope! and i still believe in it! and i swear
love love all..and make sure that love is not wasted in marriage...